Blk Author. Homeschooling Parent. Mother & Wife. Academic Literature Enthusiast.
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[Full Version] Advice from a Homeschooling Parent: How I Respond to Criticism About Educating My Kids at Home
Homeschooling is a serious decision people should consider at least once or twice in their parenting lives, yet it often comes with unsolicited criticism from family, friends, and society. As a parent of four beautiful kittens (I call my kids ‘kittens’), I’ve learned how to position myself when folks support or judge my decision to homeschool them.
Today, I'm giving you a piece of my journey. I hope this helps somewhere in your life.
What Inspired My Decision to Homeschool
During the pandemic, I was terrified that my daughter would get COVID. Beyond that, I wanted more control over her education and the ability to choose the right school when the time came.
The truth is…
…I didn’t have the time to properly research local elementary schools before making such an important decision.
We lived in a small suburban town, but I wasn’t comfortable sending her to the same school I attended without first meeting the teachers and evaluating the school environment myself. You know, things change over time.
When I transitioned from traditional schooling to homeschooling, I was very quiet with it. Some family folks supported me while others focused on her social life concerns. I already knew I’m not God or a certified global genius. I planned to invest in tutoring tools, parent-child workshops, and other helpful resources provided by the community and city to help homeschooling families.
Unfortunately, we didn’t have a car…
…and our house was (almost) burned down back in January 2022.
Concerns and Intentions as a Homeschooling Parent
My reason for pulling her out of school was simple. Aside from wanting to see the current schooling environment, I also focused more on building a strong educational foundation for Melody and her siblings.
We had some communication problems. I wasn’t sure if they were all late bloomers or dealing with serious verbal communication problems. Their doctor would tell me that by a certain age, my kids should be talking in short sentences or spitting out high frequency toddler words.
This made me nervous and stress out a lot.
Every waking moment, I talked to my kids. My husband did too. He and I took the pacifier away, a unique crippling tool for babies and toddlers to keep them satisfied, and started talking to them more and more.
We named things for what it was.
We sang to them, clearly and slowly.
Hell, we even played pre-K to 2nd grade sight words YouTube videos religiously until they started reading these words off the TV screen!
We were doing fine…
…until I remembered we lost everything in that house fire…
The Fire That Took Everything
In January 2022, we faced a wild turn.
My husband and I went to CarMax early MLK morning to see if we can do a $500 down payment for a car. While we were gone, certain things happened at home. When we came back, I noticed the front door was trickling a stream of water and was bolted shut.
My body slammed into the front door until it busted open. I tried going inside, to see if everyone made it out safely, but the smoke was too heavy for me to push through it. My husband went in without thinking twice.
It took several moments, but he came back out, along with several of our items and the kid’s stuffies.
I called my mom to tell her what had happened. We stopped the fire ourselves and waited for her to come back from Houston. MLK 2022 was the worst day (so far) in my life.
Picking Up Pieces of Ourselves
Being displaced for two to four months is annoying. We didn’t have a car, no money for Uber, or clean clothes or food for the kids. I felt like I’ve failed.
What made it worse was our stillbirth pregnancy and delivery on October 19th, 2022. Our son, Ivory, passed away in August, but nobody confirmed his demise until almost two months later, when a specialist called me right before my prenatal appointment. My heart broke, and my husband felt very isolated.
We were not alright, but homeschooling still had to happen for these kids…
…and because of them, I slowly discovered closure and the ability to make things right between them, my husband, God, and myself.
Responding to Criticism About Homeschooling
We are all humans.
Criticism comes with the homeschooling territory. How people handle it is how they handle it. For me, I keep it simple.
People have different opinions, and I respect their perspective. I’m not looking for validation. Trust me.
However, if the criticism shifts from homeschooling to direct judgment of me as a parent, I will either clap back or walk away from the conversation altogether. Life is too short to waste time explaining myself to people who don’t know my story.
Even explaining it here, there are layers to it.
Homeschooling is not about proving a point or competing against another household. Homeschooling is about nurturing a young sponge before it dries out or worse.
The Benefits I’ve Observed in My Children
The biggest challenge we faced wasn’t the academics. Actually, it was the non-verbal communication.
All of my children were non-verbal and struggled with reading. As a naturally talkative writer and parents, my husband and I worked tirelessly to help them form basic sentences when expressing their thoughts, emotions, and needs. My greatest fear was sending them to school without the ability to speak for themselves.
Time’s crazy these days. There are too many stories about young vulnerable children falling prey to almost anything that crosses their paths. Had that happened to mine, I would have felt like I failed as their parent and protector.
But we kept pushing through it.
Now, ALL of our children are talking!
For sure, they CAN’T STOP TALKING now! 😭🤣
Final Thoughts
Homeschooling has been an adventure. My family have experienced unsettling life changes in less than 5 years, but it was all worth it.
Melody (9) loves putting on performances, big with understanding basic chemistry, physics, and marine biology topics. Annette (6) enjoys building things with her hands. Junior (5) is a strong runner and a sharpshooter with talking and instructing those around him. AhnLee (4) is a strong empath that is super outspoken and will rush to your side when she can sense something’s wrong.
For parents considering this path, know that the journey is uniquely yours. Criticism will come, but your responsibility is to get YOUR house in order and focus on what’s best for your family. Whether homeschooling is temporary or permanent, the foundation you build will shape the way your children grow, learn, and prosper in this lifetime (and the next).
I’ve written on Medium since 2020, and it is an experience. Since my stillbirth, I've develop an inconsistent relationship with the platform and the love behind my writing abilities. While many folks see this as a personal thing (keep your skeletons to yourself type deal), I still believe my bite-sized testimony can help someone find peace their their own storm.
Thank you for supporting me. You know who you are. For those who are new here, welcome. I will talk about my stillbirth journey, from processing loss as a neutral thing instead of...whatever's supposed to be. I will also chat about homeschooling topics, ideas, tips and tricks, and more.
Between here and Medium, I wish y'all a lovely rest of the day and subscribe to my newsletter for when I drop budget friendly homeschooling resources (physical and digital ones).
Stay beautiful, stay lovely...stay you!
Me when the kids are jumping all over the place and I need to write a long-form blog post before I forget.
Blk Author. Homeschooling Parent. Mother & Wife. Academic Literature Enthusiast.
Subscribe to Hari's Quiet Moments and gain access to a curated collection of homeschooling tools, nature-inspired insights, and personal reflections. You can't find her advice anywhere else!
